scrabbled by james at 3:30 AM  
I have no idea what I'm going to do about this girl.
I need to decide whether she's worth trying to figure all this out over.
one major problem: I never see her. I've seen her twice, briefly, (the second time just barely a hello) since the last time we hung around, which was, I think three weeks ago? too long. I don't know where any of this stands, where any of this is going, I never see her, I don't know. I need to know these things, because with where it is right now, I can't make a move. unless I decide 'fuck it I don't care', which is rather difficult to do.

it's almost three-thirty. my contacts want to be taken out and I should sleep; I do still have class tomorrow. somethings.

appropriate music in my mind for its sound, 'safe from harm' by massive attack, 'enjoy' by bjork. definte tricky influence there...

rargafrableafbaslfkajd.

scrabbled by james at 2:16 AM  
I don't want to exchange words with people right now.
The girls I love all live dangerously, live through danger.
I need to write things and no other place is fitting right now.
paper won't work,
lifeasadinosaur won't work,
nothing else is working right now.
things are odd in my head.

finished an essay due tomorrow on 'the paradise institute'; it's supposed to be 500 words; mine's 800-something. I tried to cut it down, but I can't really.
I have an image of a burning house in my head thanks to it;
the power plant's page for it has a little realvideo clip of that.
I feel I am going mad in my head.

I have had a headache somewhere in there all day, since my light and sound lab. 700hz and 1200hz tones resonating through this tiny little room, rah it gave me a headache. I don't usually get headaches or complain about them. this one was too evil though. damnable tones piercing my skull.

I don't know what I want to say, really.
I'm just writing.
I really should sleep.
I really should destroy the world, blow everything up, and listen to sonic youth.
I'd really like to have better access to a specific someone.