tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31271422011-04-21T15:30:06.191-04:00quotation junkyalakazaam!<br>
instant magical powers!
<br><br>
... really. that's all it takes, folks.jamesnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1981100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-855589682002-12-05T17:15:00.000-05:002002-12-05T17:15:50.193-05:00sky is dark blue-grey brown and yellow from clouds.
I'd like to do something about it. maybe paint a picture, take a photograph, something. I'm writing about it. colour through window.
I'd kind of like to take a photograph, if I had colour film in my camera. roll of black and white as it is. but the problem there; the problem that's always there in pictures is that the certain something, just jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-855543722002-12-05T15:35:00.000-05:002002-12-05T15:35:11.460-05:00I'm moving about my room shirtless hollering out joy division lyrics sipping ginger ale.
not wearing my glasses or contacts; everything's out of focus. but that's right for right now.
the blinds to my window are mostly closed; my room is fairly dark. this also feels right for now.
choice selections, 'unknown pleasures'.
just headed into shadowplay.
I remember hearing how martin hannett got the jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-852458692002-11-29T03:30:00.000-05:002002-11-29T03:30:21.773-05:00I have no idea what I'm going to do about this girl.
I need to decide whether she's worth trying to figure all this out over.
one major problem: I never see her. I've seen her twice, briefly, (the second time just barely a hello) since the last time we hung around, which was, I think three weeks ago? too long. I don't know where any of this stands, where any of this is going, I never see her, I jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-849126632002-11-22T02:16:00.000-05:002002-11-22T02:19:35.000-05:00I don't want to exchange words with people right now.
The girls I love all live dangerously, live through danger.
I need to write things and no other place is fitting right now.
paper won't work,
lifeasadinosaur won't work,
nothing else is working right now.
things are odd in my head.
finished an essay due tomorrow on 'the paradise institute'; it's supposed to be 500 words; mine's 800-something.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-837972902002-10-30T19:38:00.000-05:002002-10-30T19:39:19.000-05:00and the archives need to be adjusted.
if you want to see old stuff, it's all still available at the old location, but I'm gonna get that linked up properly here soon too.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-837970972002-10-30T19:33:00.000-05:002002-10-30T19:33:52.373-05:00so I've finally gotten around to updating my site. after about two months or so. took way too long on that.
there was more I was gonna write. I know it. but I can't remember what it was. possibly look for more later.
and I'm still working on a new template. I'm tired of how this looks. rrr.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-836505372002-10-28T02:17:00.000-05:002002-10-28T02:17:54.143-05:00okay, so I'm working on a new template. wait for it.
on a different note, I started this back up for a reason - essentially I wanted to write prose-style things as well as what I've got in my other journals. prose-style semi-coherent. and now it's difficult to get that off, in a way.
okay.
things have been going such in my head lately, where ideas present themselves, and an idea often is jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-836492312002-10-28T01:33:00.000-05:002002-10-28T01:38:41.000-05:00okay:
so I've decided I'm reviving this. though it's now in a different location, and I am going to redesign the way it looks. hold on.
had to make a small change; see how things are going. I plan on completely adjusting this page's design, so watch out!
in case anyone's wondering, quotation junky went on hiatus on the basis of 'I was writing in my other journal all the time.' but now, I've jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-788903092002-07-12T23:34:00.000-04:002002-07-12T23:34:54.346-04:00quotation junky is now officially on hiatus.
read/look at my home site, my other journal life as a dinosaur, or go listen to my music instead.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-785372282002-07-04T00:37:00.000-04:002002-07-04T00:39:01.000-04:00whooo
finally
my mp3.com site that I signed up for a week ago is up
if anyone wants to hear my stuff go to http://www.mp3.com/treeclimber/
so.
this is pretty sad; I scarcely update this blog anymore.
pretty much only news-type things.
sigh.
I update my other more often, though...
sigh.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-782005672002-06-25T20:39:00.000-04:002002-06-25T20:39:32.113-04:00watching ute lemper performing live on bravo... rather amusing eccentric woman she is.
recording it on tape; apparently she's going to be doing some nick cave songs (yay!) as well as weill and other weimar songs (she's already done one, a phillip glass song, elvis costello, and something else by someone I have no idea who it was...). I'm enjoying it.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-779605272002-06-19T22:15:00.000-04:002002-06-19T22:15:28.790-04:00there are all sorts of thoughts going through my head. aimless. random, bouncing. trying to figure them into coherent ones; my mind insists on distraction.
eryn has been saying some very good things lately.
buttercup festival is amusing me, and also saying some very good things.
song lyrics going through my head. mark david chapman.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-777979912002-06-16T00:20:00.000-04:002002-06-16T00:21:30.000-04:00typing up stuff from paper. preparing to *gasp* update my website, for the first time in about a month. haven't been too on the ball with that, eh? ah well.
and now all that stuff is in order, I think. to post!jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-777638692002-06-14T22:55:00.000-04:002002-06-14T22:55:25.336-04:00noises.
I am going to go outside and scream at the sky.
I want to fly everywhere; I want to do everything.
run around outside.
everything should be dancing.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-776760482002-06-12T20:37:00.000-04:002002-06-12T20:37:26.270-04:00as always, I am thinking about going out for a walk again.
yesterday, joey wrote, in a series of entries,
Music is the way life is supposed to be lived.
We need percussion tracks to drive us.
We need to sing.
And where are all the lights?
damn right.
so many times music is so important. so many times things just seem more right when accompanied by a fervent guitar being played like they jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-775178112002-06-08T23:14:00.000-04:002002-06-08T23:23:36.000-04:00just got myself some ice cream. mint chocolatey chip. ('chocolatey' is the word on the package, so...) as I was scopping it out I had a sudden urge for some strawberries.
I fell like writing something long and interesting. we'll see what comes out.
yesterday I talked to my friend tash for the first time in about a month. every time I talk to her, my thought afterwards is that " I should really jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-775152562002-06-08T21:34:00.000-04:002002-06-08T21:34:44.080-04:00last night I had a dream in which one of the members of the trail of dead (I think it was conrad; he was never identified) came and sat a a table outside somewhere with me; it eventually progressed into him singing a song that was made up on the spot... I tried to figure out parts of the song after I got up; can't really remember the lyrics much beyond him calling someone cocky (grabbing his jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-775129992002-06-08T19:50:00.000-04:002002-06-08T19:50:49.860-04:00the video for 'god's away on business' by tom waits is one of the coolest videos ever.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-774489552002-06-07T00:28:00.000-04:002002-06-07T00:28:38.626-04:00quarter after midnight.
sitting here on the computer.
this is almost like death. that sounds pretentious. ridiculous me.
this is almost like death in that it is me sitting here and numbing. I'm not doing anytihng; I'm wasting time almost. I don't really care too much about being on my computer, or about being on the internet, or whatever.
right now, what I think I want to do is go outside.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-773670282002-06-05T03:56:00.000-04:002002-06-05T03:56:28.096-04:00hrm.
it's twenty to four in the morning.
I am a bit hungry, and have lethal hiccups.
it doesn't help that I'm so thin; my diaphragm is stronger than the rest of my body. damnit.
nonsense.
I don't know. something.
sent an email to a friend I haven't talked to in about a month, haven't seen since december. wish I could see her more often; one of my best friends. probably my best friend. but jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-772394402002-06-01T23:51:00.000-04:002002-06-01T23:51:18.423-04:00and yes I say things like 'oh my goodness.'
gosh-darn it!jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-772393952002-06-01T23:50:00.000-04:002002-06-01T23:50:04.173-04:00oh my goodness spelling the vacuum is amusing.
these have been very small uneventful entries in here lately.
eh.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-770529912002-05-28T01:44:00.000-04:002002-05-28T01:56:18.000-04:00ah, the current no outlet is amusing.
I probably read too many web comics.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769756972002-05-25T22:20:00.000-04:002002-05-25T22:20:36.023-04:00I am making a new word.
I have the word; I just don't have the definition.
the word is:
alimenopy.
any suggestions?
put them in the comments thing.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769753912002-05-25T22:07:00.000-04:002002-05-25T22:07:38.640-04:00I am eating an apple.
my friend scoffed at this, and spat in the proverbial eye of my apple.
the apple of my apple's eye, perhaps.
fruit is on my mind this evening.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769749732002-05-25T21:49:00.000-04:002002-05-25T21:49:50.343-04:00listening to idlewild.
never listened to them before, but grabbed them on a whim from my brother's collection. there was a picture in the booklet I liked (plus on this journal which I have been reading over the past few days it says 'idlewild' up at the top, so the word was on my mind...)
yeah
it's interesting. it doesn't really sound like anything too special, but at the same time, there's jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769493712002-05-25T00:16:00.000-04:002002-05-25T00:16:53.590-04:00hooooooo!!!!
people need to just shout more.
not yell, shout.
I need to just shout more, it's difficult, but I'm trying.
last night I danced for an hour in a park, beautiful midnight. I bounced myself off of a fence and it was wonderful like a sort of flight. I shouted out twice during that time, though I wanted to more.
I want to just holler out some noise and sustain it.
I need more jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769097342002-05-23T23:33:00.000-04:002002-05-23T23:33:43.963-04:00this is the funniest diesel sweeties comic I've read in a long time.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-769070442002-05-23T22:13:00.000-04:002002-05-23T22:13:55.676-04:00mmmmmmmmmmm
my mind is messed lately.
been rather unsatisfied with things, though I have no idea what exactly. blerg.
fiona apple singing behind me. fits in with my mindframe in my weird way, in a strangely similar way to the drastically different music of sonic youth circa 1983. in a similar way to my desire to walk around in the moonlit sky outside dark warm air illuminating waxing jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767799872002-05-20T21:40:00.000-04:002002-05-20T21:40:16.783-04:00steve reich on my computer. piano phase.
pianopianopianopiano repeating piano notes over and over. aimless thoughts in my head.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767795402002-05-20T21:27:00.000-04:002002-05-20T21:27:11.210-04:00I haven't really been outside in a few days.
I like being outside. going outside is one of the few things that keeps me sane around here.
I can feel myself being cramped up in here right now, and it's a bit unnerving, I suppose. not unnerving; something else. not disconcerting.... what's coming to my head is 'alienating'. a bit alienating? alienating me from the world, perhaps. no, not jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767470952002-05-20T01:05:00.000-04:002002-05-20T01:05:39.533-04:00whooo.......
getting off in just a moment....
but I almost have bjork's pagan poetry video on my computer now...
gah it's a wonderful video
beautiful
right up there with bachelorette (which I already have)...
and it's done!
yay for the wonder that is bjork!jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767463492002-05-20T00:38:00.000-04:002002-05-20T00:38:51.263-04:00if you haven't read it yet, cat and girl has some very good things to say.
this one, for instance, is a pretty good summation of my opinion of one of the two major groups in my town. (the 'punk/metal group'. the other major group is the 'white boys who think they're down with it'. jeesh.)
perhaps more in a bit; I've been all-writey today. (it's a pun, kind of. heh.)jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767177352002-05-19T04:14:00.000-04:002002-05-19T04:14:19.333-04:00eeeeeeeee happy good stuff at this four in the morning.
sonic youth is going to be playing toronto august fifteenth.
eeeeeee I can't wait. jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-767155602002-05-19T02:11:00.000-04:002002-05-19T02:11:33.333-04:00pj harvey just got cooler than ever with me finding this pic.
of course, she was already cool, so...
on an unrelated note, I've actually updated my site for the first time in a few weeks. I feel sooo special.
and my mind wants me to write in here, but I don't have much to say at the moment, nothing floating around in my mind right now. shucks.
really, I blame this spacing in updating in myjamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-766822042002-05-17T23:14:00.000-04:002002-05-17T23:14:02.740-04:00la la lala
home again.
homifying.
listening to the sonic youth, hearing about a kool thing. looking at about seven webpages at once in one browser window (I love tabbed browsing. mrah!) and talking with a friend a la the icy queue.
reading a diary-x journal I've been meaning to go through for a while, but never got around to... devotchka. a clockwork girl who likes music I like. writes well as jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-765964122002-05-15T19:51:00.000-04:002002-05-15T19:51:54.650-04:00
I want to say so much that sometimes the only way I could get it all out would be just to scream.
A wild, unintelligible scream.
Boy, I must really have problems to feel that need. ... Or do I?
I have this feeling all the time. this feeling, for me, is very very natural. this is a very pure and exact thing. what this is is just... desire. life.
this is why I listen to music so much. music isjamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-763814612002-05-09T23:16:00.000-04:002002-05-09T23:16:51.533-04:00I've been working on this idea some more; I'm still working things out for it. god, it's a great thing deciding these things. things are coming into focus. focus is useful.
and I have a comment down there from joey saying to count him in. well, the thing is, is that I already had, actually. experiment 1 is exactly what I'm talking about. it's like a guidebook for this process, which is wonderfuljamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-762900422002-05-07T23:25:00.000-04:002002-05-07T23:43:46.000-04:00okay:
this is my declaration on everything. this is what I want from everything; this is my purpose in what I am trying to achieve. in my writing, in my music, in my art, in everything I surround myself with, in everything I do.
I am trying to make something perfect.
I am trying to make a perfect world for myself, somewhere I can just turn around and gaze at everything and just marvel at it. I jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-762522432002-05-07T01:53:00.000-04:002002-05-07T01:53:08.513-04:00mrmm
went to a concert the other day; my brother's band was playing so I took pictures for him. wasn't too bad a show; some of the other bands playing were crap but a few of them weren't bad.
something I liked was that I got to dance.
dancing rocks. I dance every chance I get. and it doesn't even take much; you just have to go with the music; follow where it puts in the accents. it's so much jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-761005102002-05-02T20:44:00.000-04:002002-05-02T20:44:38.103-04:00I'm also number 31 out of "about 41" (I like how it's always "about x" no matter how specific it gets) for "snarble".
mmm. snarble.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-761003462002-05-02T20:38:00.000-04:002002-05-02T20:38:30.053-04:00okay, this is the funniest thing ever, in my opinion.
this site is the number one entry in google for the search "fucking quotation". I find that so hilarious.
I'm number one! oh yeah!
but on the side of that, who is looking up "fucking quotation"? and what sort of thing are they expecting?
I'm boggled.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-760675252002-05-02T00:33:00.000-04:002002-05-02T00:33:03.263-04:00oh, and there's a forum now for all this spiffy stuff of mine (and others)
go here and register. for my stuff, go into big name on page.
post away! jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-760674112002-05-02T00:28:00.000-04:002002-05-02T00:28:48.853-04:00rarg.
trying to work out things for meeting up with people at york tomorrow, but I can't get a hold of anyone... bah to that, I say. a big fat bah.
I feel like I haven't written in here in ages. I feel like I've been doing things non-stop. I feel hectic and a bit harried. that word doesn't look right but I can't think of a different possibility for its spelling.
something something. blerg.
.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-758714732002-04-26T22:59:00.000-04:002002-04-26T22:59:39.096-04:00fa fiddle dee dee...
and my site is now relocated over to http://www.disappointedidealist.com/~bnop/
and I think everything's working with it and such....
now I just need to update to a newer mozilla so I can make blogger pro work (grr for not supporting 0.9.9+! it's sooooo close to the 1.0 trial thingamajob! ah well. I was going to update it anyway...)
huzzah!jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-758318832002-04-25T22:44:00.000-04:002002-04-25T22:44:12.366-04:00oh, and in case anyone's wondering, yes, that's me in the pictures. that is my ear.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-758318462002-04-25T22:42:00.000-04:002002-04-25T22:42:47.180-04:00actually, thinking about it, the really classy thing to do would be to put one of those images (the desktop captures) as my background, instead of the different pictures that I have. so then I can work with trying to figure out which icons are real and which ones are pictures.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-758317362002-04-25T22:39:00.000-04:002002-04-25T22:39:24.850-04:00whooo
I'm in a good mood. spontaneous good mood. earlier I was fiddling around and making la musique sur ma computer (as I can't remember 'computer' en francais (nor the code for a 'c with a cedille' character... if I've got the character name right)... I don't even know if I've got the genders right. damn gendered languages. well, at least french only has masculine and feminine; none of that 'jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-757957242002-04-24T23:52:00.000-04:002002-04-24T23:52:48.640-04:00reading through various websites. I've got a bunch of catching up to do.
right now I'm feeling very much like action. I've had for quite a while now the image in my head of jumping off of something high, just for the experience of the free-fall. the fall is important. that separation from "the world", that ... freedom. I want to jump and I want to fly. my only concern is in the real world I'll jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-757544642002-04-23T23:58:00.000-04:002002-04-23T23:58:28.253-04:00on the internet again.
I don't get to do that so much any more. now that I'm at home again I've got a whole bunch of other people to compete with.
but since I'm here, I've managed to post some more stuff onto my website. I also found some old stuff I had, which I had forgotten about. in particular, I found this picture, which I like very much:
I'm rather fond of this picture.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754580402002-04-16T05:25:00.000-04:002002-04-16T05:25:00.150-04:00I am actually caught up with goats now.
because I decided I would read it straight from the beginning, as I decided with bobbins (which I'm in last november for right now), diesel sweeties, 8-bit theatre, and all of the other comics I read. I started doing this with pvp, but I haven't really read much of it yet. eh, I say, primarily.
comics are amusing, and I spend too much time reading them.
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754564922002-04-16T03:42:00.000-04:002002-04-16T03:42:37.440-04:00the most right thing to do at the moment is to mess up my hair.
because again, this seems important.
at three-thirty six in the morning, these are the sorts of things that are most important.
and I think they should be all the time.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754561422002-04-16T03:21:00.000-04:002002-04-16T03:21:20.050-04:00I think I would like to make myself some toast and chocolate milk.
and I write this because, in the grand scheme of things, it seems important.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754559062002-04-16T03:07:00.000-04:002002-04-16T03:07:15.570-04:00pj harvey keeps coming on winamp.
the window just above me keeps rattling.
I'm asuming it's a cat.
this is a wonderful idea here.
and now the trail of dead. an excellent band. prince with a thousand enemies.
they have very glorious music.
I'm realising I'm rather tense inside. and that I need to relax somehow.
the problem is that this is a very ambiguous tenseness. I don't know what's jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754552622002-04-16T02:36:00.000-04:002002-04-16T02:36:43.453-04:00okay, that was an odd movie.
I don't know whether the end of it was happy or not. it was... something.
there is a spider crawling across the floor. my childhood tells me to call it a wolf spider, though I don't know if that's the right name for it.
okay... I was just flipping through the channels and came across a guy giving another guy a blow job... and not a simulated one, or a hard-to-see jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-754547622002-04-16T02:15:00.000-04:002002-04-16T02:15:52.250-04:00I'm at home again, and updating this for the first time in quite a while. over a week now. I've been being lazy with this journal still, and using my other journal instead. right now I'm watching tv. because now I can better than before, with Cable (whoo...). commercials are still mostly terrible.
but what I'm watching is rather amusing. at home with the webbers. the whole "real people on tv" jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-751278042002-04-07T04:20:00.001-04:002002-04-07T04:20:41.460-04:00I don't even know what I wrote there anymore...jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-751277982002-04-07T04:20:00.000-04:002002-04-07T04:20:12.650-04:00okay.
it's three frickin thirty in the morning.
I haven't seen anyone in what I still consider to be today though it is yesterday now. I've been sitting in my room too long.
listening to alarm in the graduate school by narbotic. amusing song. I like the part about learning surgery for your mfa. I'm going for a bfa... I'm such a geek.
I've been hiding from my computer for a while. I just haven'tjamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-114095382002-04-03T04:45:00.000-05:002002-04-03T04:45:16.840-05:00arg.
alright, I've decided. I'm going to bed.
I frickin' read through the rest of the guy's damn page. goddamn irritating intelligent people I disagree with. say things that I don't agree with at all, but I can understand why he says them, and so am forced to deal with it rationally. it's like watching some tv show which you can't stand, but you saw the first five minutes and now they've jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-114093272002-04-03T04:28:00.000-05:002002-04-03T04:28:23.403-05:00fucked up my archives template a bit, because mine is manually updated in order for me to be satisfied without bothering to make up javascript code. it's probably not even difficult javascript I would be using; probably just something like substring or whatever. eh. I don't really care.
so I had to fix that up.
and now I'm reading through my old posts. this seems to be the first post that sort jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-114071462002-04-03T02:26:00.000-05:002002-04-03T02:26:11.030-05:00I'm not really, but I feel like I'm neglecting my blogger and not posting in it as much. It's because I'm posting so often in my diary-x journal. for instance, looking at the archives, I've posted 30-someodd times in that since it started near the beginning of march. 35. since march 26th, how many times have I posted? the 26th, coincidentally, being one week ago with my mind still working on jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-113368622002-04-01T03:18:00.001-05:002002-04-01T03:18:48.786-05:00nightmares are a very physical thing.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-113368582002-04-01T03:18:00.000-05:002002-04-01T03:18:23.646-05:00if it weren't for my music, my immediate physical sensation and environment would seem very nightmare-ish.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-113192782002-03-31T17:20:00.000-05:002002-03-31T17:20:06.060-05:00back in res now.
feeling rather down.
allergies are a bitch and they're stll bothering me from home.
my computer is fucking up. it keeps moving lines of stuff leftwards on the monitor in a pulsating grainy fashion.
my fabulous fucking high-speed connection through the school is fucking around and not loading things properly.
yay for birthdays.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-113034582002-03-31T03:04:00.000-05:002002-03-31T03:04:07.576-05:00I am now officially twenty.
god. for someone who doesn't care about his birthday, I certainly mention it an awful lot. what is with me? I've been mentioning my birthday incessantly and going on about how much I really don't care about it.
I'm getting distracted.
I am allergic to my house.
I am trying to make this computer (not my laptop) into something I like better. I have to be careful, jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-112555612002-03-29T14:32:00.000-05:002002-03-29T14:32:39.650-05:00going home for the weelend shortly.
as in about half an hour.
right now I'm wasting time doing this instead of getting ready.
I'm not really in the mood for this right now. I'm not really in the mood for anything right now, actually... I don't know; something happened in my head last night (though I have no idea what) that's kind of set me off on everything.
a general apathetic bleh towards alljamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-112049132002-03-28T02:44:00.000-05:002002-03-28T02:44:51.070-05:00just kind of curious right now...
I was going to post this on experiment three, but I decided it would be more appropriate in my own forum... do people lose more freedom as they get older?
what I mean is, is that I'm nineteen. in four days I'll be twenty. I feel almost invincible in the world. I feel like I can do almost anything. I don't care what other people's reactions are. I enjoy standing jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-111980262002-03-27T22:37:00.000-05:002002-03-27T22:37:48.850-05:00sitting on my bed period new sentence I can apostrophe t think of what to write comma really period new sentence I feel like I should be writing something semicolon I feel like something should be occuring period new sentence perhaps this has something to do with ambient feelings that may dash or dash may dash not exist for a specific person period new sentence earlier today they felt like jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-111971452002-03-27T22:13:00.000-05:002002-03-27T22:13:33.816-05:00(sounds.)
jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-111453772002-03-26T14:52:00.000-05:002002-03-26T14:52:05.793-05:00just had some lunch shortly ago. breakfast was an apple, because that's all I thought I had time for. woke up at 11:20, my class starts at 11:30. so I rush to get ready, despite having said to myself, "you are going to eat a real breakfast today, james." get to my class; the room's locked. okay, I says, maybe we're having studio time (the class is in digital music; it's part lecture/part lab timejamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-111215742002-03-25T21:32:00.000-05:002002-03-25T21:32:03.986-05:00okay, the problem I mentioned in my last post seems to be bug 132673. it's really annoying. if it's not solved soon I'm going to downgrade to the milestone build from my nightly build. it was working in that; this is a more recent problem.
I was also invited to join experiments 3+4; I did the join up thing, but it didn't seem to work entirely. it's not on my list at the moment; maybe if I log jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110886512002-03-25T00:43:00.000-05:002002-03-25T00:43:05.753-05:00hrm. mozilla builds 2002032408, and, I think it was 2002032306 don't want to behave properly. my comment tags don't show up in them. and it's not just my comments, it's everybody who's using YACCS. the pyrads also don't show up, at least not the links. the note below shows still.
what to do, what to do... jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110875982002-03-25T00:02:00.000-05:002002-03-25T00:02:55.660-05:00earlier:
I just have this image in my head, this immense greenery...jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110875332002-03-25T00:00:00.000-05:002002-03-25T00:00:22.910-05:00james no sleep may become somewhat permanent.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110875142002-03-24T23:59:00.000-05:002002-03-24T23:59:42.220-05:00standing outside on a railing, balanced between two levels of bars. snow falling lightly. I stare blankly ahead, eyes unfocused (or rather, not looking at what my eyes focused at). little glistening sparks cross through my vision as tiny snowflakes reflect the light of the lampposts.
gorgeous.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110622312002-03-24T04:41:00.000-05:002002-03-24T04:41:16.416-05:00lying on my bed, reading weblogs.
I want someone to kiss very much right now.
stephen is apparently going to bed now.
he think's he's so big not being insane.
I'll show him who's insane!
but that's a side note, anyways. which isn't a real word. 'anyways', that is.
my point was that I want someone to kiss. everything makes me want someone.
I listen to music, it makes me want someone.
I read jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110591542002-03-24T01:23:00.000-05:002002-03-24T01:23:10.530-05:00just sitting here reading experiment 1: night, which is very good and interesting. the guy who does it is just essentially talking about the things we all know in the back of our heads but never discuss, never allow to surface... I'm enjoying it very much.
while reading it, I just thought of something that bryanna said to me earlier today. problems still exist between her and our friend; jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-110539302002-03-23T21:46:00.000-05:002002-03-23T21:46:23.910-05:00been working on another new painting today, entitled "to james, for the occasion of his 20th birthday, from james." it is a birthday present to myself, or least so I have declared it in its title. yes, that's right, my twentieth birthday is approaching. march 31st. whee, I don't really care. I'm not really excited, and I'm not really depressed about it; I'm pretty apathetic on the issue.
I like jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-109873462002-03-21T18:56:00.000-05:002002-03-21T18:56:38.890-05:00oh, just as a note...
if anyone who knows me reads this over the next few days, anything that may be taken as awkward situations isn't anymore, so... don't look at anything differently, I guess.
and now I feel that might make things get looked at differently. my precautions can cause more problems than the situations themselves.
my point is, is that any situations that might be taken as jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-109620172002-03-21T02:40:00.000-05:002002-03-21T02:40:03.400-05:00yeah. I'm just signing off for this blog for the next few days...
to keep yourself updated on where I am right now read james no sleep starting in about ten hours, and then after this point I do not intend to sleep for as long as I can... whee.
therefore, I should sleep now.
sleeeeeeeeep.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-109146972002-03-19T21:00:00.000-05:002002-03-19T21:00:10.170-05:00okay, I'm boggled by the fact that, I just set it up yesterday, and I've already had two visits to my blog from people who visited my "james no sleep" project. it hasn't even started yet. I also got a visit to life as a dinosaur as well from james no sleep.
hardly anyone comes to my blog. I start up a web page, nobody goes to it either. I start up life as a dinosaur, and within a few weeks it'sjamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-109137212002-03-19T20:25:00.000-05:002002-03-19T20:25:57.880-05:00hm...
I don't really know what to write right now.
I just felt like logging in to blogger and doing something.
so I'm doing something.
"something!"
whee, I'm silly.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-108677412002-03-18T15:01:00.000-05:002002-03-18T15:01:59.080-05:00okay, so I'm figuring things out at the moment...
just tried out my websites in ie 5.5 and netscape 4.7 (I've been using mozilla build 0.9.9)...
and I've discovered something. a lot of the stuff I'm doing with them isn't completely compatible with older browsers. I knew some of it wouldn't be, but I figured it would be ignored, or something. but rather, some of it just fucks up.
in ie5.5, things jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-108203652002-03-17T04:12:00.000-05:002002-03-17T04:12:34.110-05:00yeah, so I didn't go to the trail of dead show tonight
(because three fifty a m still counts as tonight).
I just wasn't really in the mood; and it's about an hour to get downtown from here (which is ridiculous; I'm technically in the city here at university... it's the bus's fault, anyway. there's a half-hour bus ride to the end of the subway line, and then it's about half an hour to get right tojamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-107912932002-03-16T02:58:00.000-05:002002-03-16T02:58:01.406-05:00okay, so today I decided I'd put in a commenting system for my blog, so should anyone actually read it they can post comments to me. should be interesting if someone does. then I can initiate a dialogue, perhaps, or something of interest or gibberish.
I spent way too much time on it; making it look all pretty and such and designing the basic little box; it's astounding how much time it can take jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-107440102002-03-14T20:15:00.000-05:002002-03-14T20:15:32.216-05:00I'm tired right now.
mrag.
finally finished that damn essay today and handed it in. it's crap, but my primary focus was "it's worth 25% of my mark. if I don't get it done my chances of passing will be much more slim." so that finally managed to get me moving again.
listening to the trail of dead; two days until the show. I'm assuming that there will still be tickets, because I like to assume jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-106616592002-03-12T12:42:00.000-05:002002-03-12T12:42:34.736-05:00bryanna just came by.
she's late for work right now, but she wants me to check on our friend to make sure she's okay. bryanna's still visibly affected; I don't blame her. it's really getting to her too.
so.
it's really fucking upsetting. I wish my friends could all be happy. but life isn't a fucking idyllic place.
I'd rather not have to deal with this, but I have no choice.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-106607482002-03-12T12:15:00.000-05:002002-03-12T12:15:39.436-05:00my depressed friend is in a bad way.
last night she had another breakdown. yelling at our friends. it was rather bad. we're all getting really fucking worried about her. after she finally managed to get calmed down enough to go to bed, bryanna, stephen and I sat around for a good couple of hours trying to figure out what we could do and get our heads on straight. we were seriously really worriedjamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-106371612002-03-11T20:10:00.000-05:002002-03-11T20:10:59.143-05:00eating dinner.
working on an essay. (duchamp).
listening to smog -
bathysphere.
now it's over.
listening to allen ginsberg - howl, now.
finally found a theory on the bride stripped bare by her bachelors, even that makes sense (thank god). now I just have to write the whole damn thing.
it's interesting, at least. I like duchamp. the more I read about him, the more I understand him now (as jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-105762412002-03-09T23:49:00.000-05:002002-03-09T23:49:04.840-05:00alright. everything is pretty now.
yay!
....that took way too long, though. damn perfectionism!jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-105750032002-03-09T22:59:00.000-05:002002-03-09T22:59:40.286-05:00okay, I've been screwing around with this for about an hour now, and I think I'm just about satisfied with what I've done. I'm running into a bit of a problem with my new archive version, but I'm working it out, I think.
so.... here goes with the new look.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-105734242002-03-09T21:58:00.000-05:002002-03-09T22:58:19.000-05:00just updated my template. this post is to see how it looks, mostly.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-105718112002-03-09T20:46:00.000-05:002002-03-09T20:46:39.776-05:00Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Scowling wilfully towards Autobot City, you're Megatron!
Look in a mirror and feel the evil. Then eat the mirror. You eat mirrors for breakfast. You are a badass death robot. You busted on Optimus Prime. You. Are. Megatron. Go outside and burn some animals, because you're worth it.
oh yeah.
I rock.
-------------
and elsewise...
I'm in a pretty good mood jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-105358112002-03-08T16:12:00.000-05:002002-03-08T18:49:19.000-05:00okay, so here's what's up:
finished my yoko ono paper today.
or rather, started my yoko ono paper today. finished it in about four hours. good job for me! I'm proud of my half-assed last minute paper; in that it was half-assed and last minute, but still completed.
got an extension on the marcel duchamp until monday. I now have a couple more days to fret over it! yeah!
my computer is still hooked jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-104384512002-03-06T00:16:00.000-05:002002-03-06T00:16:29.556-05:00mmmm
been noting that everything is so sexual with me lately. and I mean that in the sense of the things I write, the things I draw, the things I think... normally my life isn't this ...focused on the issue; it's usually more ambiguous in my mind. side-issuey.
but lately it's been dead centre of everything.
I actually remember a while ago thinking that I would like to put more eroticism in my jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-103946292002-03-04T23:41:00.000-05:002002-03-04T23:41:03.473-05:00la la la. updating my blog so much lately.
wheee.
and it's all about the same fucking thing. everything is dealing with this fucking angst I have over the bryanna/stephen thing. I'm fucking depressing myself to a degree.
I don't know why I really care. why it's giving me so much angstiness. sigh.
I guess I want to be involved in everything. and there are some things I can't be. and I don't know.jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-103815482002-03-04T17:52:00.000-05:002002-03-04T17:52:46.483-05:00okay, my browser likes to die a lot right now; think I'm going to update to a newer mozilla shortly. the build I have isn't too friendly with blogger for some reason; it doesn't respond very well to my orders and such. yeah.
so after I'm finished I'm going to install a new version to see if things have been dealt with yet. hopefully some will have. yeah.
... and I'm tired. james sleepy.
james jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-103793422002-03-04T16:53:00.000-05:002002-03-04T23:17:23.000-05:00just started up listening to samples off the new ...and you will know us by the trail of dead album. I've got a bunch of their other stuff (I guess pretty much all of it), and I'm naturally rather interested in hearing this stuff.
I'm definitely going to see them on the 16th. trail of dead rocks.
this is rather high-quality audio; I'm surprised, really.
whoo! 'another morning stoner' goes into jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-103482232002-03-03T21:15:00.000-05:002002-03-03T21:15:12.910-05:00alright, I seem to be more sensical than I was at six in the morning. I don't feel as 'somewhat jealous' at the moment, nor was I earlier. and I'm currently typing with only one hand because I'm eating, and god it's a nuisance. give me my other hand! for the love of god! agh!
yeah. so I'm doing better. but the other pained person still seems to be so, getting upset again earlier today by them. jamesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3127142.post-103269482002-03-03T06:11:00.000-05:002002-03-03T06:11:51.266-05:00okay, what the hell am I doing?
I'm pacing around in the halls of the building at six in the morning.
I'm acting like some sort of lunatic.
I'm being a bit more than 'somewhat jealous', as I called myself earlier.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
what the hell is my problem? I don't think it's solely about Bryanna and Stephen. it can't just be that. Because I'm just not that ... (words I can't think of).
jamesnoreply@blogger.com